Oxymorons
by Rachel Erica
Summary: Zim and Dib are totally different, yet exactly the same. Could a mutual understand of this after a brutal physical fight be the start of frienemiship for the two? One-shot!


**The Oxymorons**

Zim and Dib sat there in the principal's office, each in a chair. They mirrored one another; both sitting parallel, glaring at the walls as if they could destroy it with their gazes so as not to look at each other. Looking at each other could cause the now simmering anger to boil over once again. Both boys had the same thoughts running through their large heads: how much they hated one another.

Zim's lower lip was stained with his own blood, a dark bruise was developing under his eye, the other nearly swollen shut, one large scratch down his cheek, his slick, black wig, which usually looked quite neat and well-kept, was sloppy and slightly crooked. Lucky for him, in spite of clear hard blows to the eyes, his gray, human-like contacts remained intact.

Dib was equally battered; he had one black eye, several scratches all over his face, stains of dried blood under his nose, his glasses were crooked and broken, and his black hair that usually stood up in an odd shape, lay down in a wavy, black strand down his face.

It all started when the bell rang for recess. None of the students wasted a second to get out of their seats and leave the classroom. They leaped over desks and chairs like a bunch of wild monkeys and ran out of the school like as if it were on fire. This excludes Zim and Dib, the more mature students of the class, who walked out without a care to be at recess or in class.

Zim messed with some strange device as he walked toward the exit of the school, Dib following only a few feet behind.

Dib sped up his pace to catch up with Zim and catch a glimpse of what he was doing.

"You're not supposed to have electronics in school, Zim," Dib taunted. "You better not get caught or they might confiscate your _alien_ device and you'll be exposed."

"I don't know what you're talking about, big-headed Earth creature," Zim retorted. "This is no alien device! It's a cell phone. I'm simply texting my, uh, friends!"

"What friends?" Dib pressed. "You don't have friends!"

"And what would you know about friends, Dib?" Zim retorted once again.

"I know you have to have them in order to text them!" Dib snapped. "Besides, you're not even texting!"

"Then tell me, Dib, what am I doing?"

"I don't know, but…"

"Exactly! So for all you know, I am texting!"

"Whatever, Zim," Dib grumbled, not continuing to speak as he walked next to Zim out of the school's main entrance.

Zim put his device away and cringed as he saw all the children hopping around in the puddles, splashing the water in all directions, and running around, screaming with joy. How he despised those drooling, clueless little monsters.

Dib watched as Zim pulled out his "cell phone" once again and began doing what he referred to as "texting".

"Hmm…" he thought aloud. "Whatever he's planning with that little device, must be stopped." He gazed over at the children bouncing around in the puddles and an idea sprung into his mind. "Hmm. If most electronics are destroyed when exposed to water, maybe I can destroy that device by somehow knocking it into one of those puddles. Better yet, I can just push Zim and his device into the water because it's funny to watch him suffer from the water that burns him." Dib chuckled to himself. He glanced back at Zim and noticed that he was standing right next to a puddle and was still holding the mysterious device. "Perfect."

Gaz walked out of the school and stopped next to Zim, watching him with the mysterious device.

"What are you doing you weirdo?" she asked, unamused.

"Be gone with you, sibling of Dib!" Zim responded, barely looking up. "I'm very busy."

"Whatever, freak," she replied as she walked away with her hands in her coat pockets.  
"Heads up, Zim!" Dib shouted as he tackled Zim, knocking him down and into the puddle.

Before Zim could react, he felt an unbearable burning sensation all over his body and the weight of Dib's body above his.

"GAAAAH!" he shrieked in pain. "The agony!"

Dib laughed maniacally as he released the alien and stood up. He stood over him as he watched him try to pull himself out of the puddle and get back on his feet.

Zim stood and shook the water from himself the best he could. He glared at Dib furiously, but his expression changed when he remembered his device.

"No…" he said quietly and quickly knelt down, searching the ground frantically. Where is it?" There it was, lying under the water. Zim quickly picked it up as if he could stop the water from totally consuming it. He pushed buttons, hoping for a response. Nothing. He clenched his teeth in anger as his blood boiled and threw the device on the pavement, causing it to shatter into several pieces.

_"__Well I'm glad you finished it off for me, Zim," Dib taunted with a menacing chuckle. _

___Zim quickly glared up at Dib and rose to his feet._

_"__I'll finish __you____ off, you miserable human!" he shouted as he grabbed Dib's shirt with both his hands and slammed him up against the school with surprising strength._

___Dib was taken off guard. He hadn't expected Zim to react that way. Feeling threatened, he balled up his fist and socked Zim square in the mouth. Zim flung backwards and let go of Dib's shirt. _

___Quickly gaining composure, Zim wiped the blood that trickled out of the corner of his mouth with his sleeve, not taking his angry eyes off of Dib. He lunged at him, tackled him to the ground and quickly decked him in the face, breaking his glasses._

___Dib quickly slashed Zim's face._

_"__Gaaah!" Zim cried as blood dripped down his face. He very quickly did the same thing to Dib in return numerous times._

___Dib also cried aloud at the agony. He managed to advance over Zim and, after a struggle that lasted a few moments, switched positions; now Dib was on top. He aimed his fist at Zim's eye, but missed by an inch or two and hit his cheek. He drew back his fist once again and this time nailed him straight in his other eye, and that time didn't miss._

___The two enemies continued to roll around on the pavement, biting, scratching, hollering, and slapping. All the students in front of the school now gathered around the two fighting, screaming violent suggestions at them._

_"__Break it up! Break it up!" the principal hollered as he pushed through the crowd of students to see what they were all hollering about. There he saw Zim and Dib rolling around on the ground, beating the crap out of each other._

___Back in the principal's office, the two boys continued to sit back to back, glaring at the walls._

_"__I hate you…more than anything," Dib grumbled._

_"__I second that emotion," Zim grumbled in return._

_"__I suppose a very possible suspension is worth stopping whatever it was you were planning," Dib said, mostly talking to himself._

_"__I don't see why you have to interfere," Zim retorted. "No one believes anything you say anyway! No matter what you say, they're gonna think you're insane."_

_"__You don't have to rub it in, Zim! You have no idea what it's like to be me! You have no idea what it's like to be hated by the whole world and have everyone think you're an idiot!"_

___The two turned to face each other._

_"__Don't judge me, Earth scum! You don't know me like you think you do! Where I'm from, everyone thinks I'm an idiot. I'm here for the same reason that you try to stop me; to prove that I'm not an idiot and that I am good for something! We have opposite aspirations, but we're quite the same, Dib."_

_"__I…I guess you do understand," Dib said sheepishly, "Sorry, dude. I didn't know. You always seem so confident; I never would've thought you to be an outcast on your own planet."_

_"__Yeah, well…" Zim wasn't sure what to say._

___The two boys looked at the door when they heard it open and saw the principal enter his office._

_"__Alright, you two," he said sternly, "we've decided to let the both of you off with a warning this time."_

_"__Yes!" the two said in unison._

_"__Just don't let this happen again."_

_"__Yes sir," Dib replied and Zim nodded._

___The two got up from their chairs and left the office to head home._

_"__You know Zim," Dib said, realizing he'd found an opening and deciding to go for it, "have you ever thought that maybe you don't need to prove yourself to people…or aliens…that don't like you?"_

_"__Hmmm…have you ever thought the same thing?" Zim replied with a chuckle, implying that Dib was a hypocrite._

_"__Alright, you got me there," Dib admitted with a small grin. "I guess I can't convince you to abandon your mission, huh?"_

_"__Nope, and I know the only way to keep you from interfering is to destroy you," Zim replied._

_"__So may the superior one win?" Dib asked holding out a hand to shake._

___Zim stopped walking and smirked at Dib._

_"__You bet," he said as he shook the human's hand._

_"__So I guess this new understanding we have for one another makes us…frienemies?" Dib asked._

_"__Makes us what?" Zim raised an eyebrow._

_"__Enemies, but friends in a weird way," Dib clarified._

_"__I suppose," Zim replied._

___The two departed as they went down separate streets to head for their homes._

_"__Later, Zim," Dib said._

_"__Farewell," Zim mumbled._


End file.
